In a move that can only be classified as ‘retarded,’ Matt Moore almost ran completely out of gas on LA’s north 101 freeway early Wednesday morning. The incident took place shortly after the hour of 2am as Moore, fueled by a desire to ‘put his head down,’ was returning home from the Hollywood area.
The incident was not the first of its kind as Moore has found himself in a similar situation more than once within the last 2 months.
“I know its not good for the car, but I’m pretty much the best at it” Moore explained as he coasted into his local Shell station the following morning. “Why would I stop being the best?” Though Moore is aware that what he is doing is completely useless, and continued behavior is eventually going to result in use of the word ‘tardy’ and a tow truck, he shows no signs of slowing down his efforts to his waste time or that of others. “You remember The Matrix? Robots run things man. Not me. My car knows who’s boss.”
Though Moore claims he’s taking a stand for humanity, further investigation proves he is simply becoming lazy.
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