Kirchner Sustains Note, Friends Bored

In an attempt to generate merriment Jeff Kirchner sang AND held a musical note far too long late in the afternoon on Monday, March 12th. The note, which was held for no shorter than 15 seconds (eternity to those in ear-shot), was intended to showcase Kirchner’s wit in relation to the previous day’s calendar abbreviation. Friends/witnesses Dan McCollister and Matt Moore were completely blindsided as Kirchner excitedly discussed the lack of celebratory recognition for the calendar day March 11th, or 3/11. McCollister was baffled as to how Kirchner chose not to select a ‘song’ from the 311 catalogue, but instead chose to ‘sing’ and sustain the words “Three Elevvvvvvvvvvvvven” for an amount of time that can only be described as ‘inappropriate.’

The situation as a whole did little to better the emotional state of either McCollister or Moore, as it only enforced an already looming sense of indifference toward Kirchner’s usual material